They all fall down

Bismillah ir Rahman ir Raheem

Assalam alaikum wr wb,

It's strange how easily all the pretenses, all the defences simply fall apart like bridges made of sticks and mud.

I'm in the midst of the worst depression I've had in a long time.

My parents as usual are hunkering down in their work. It's like my childhood all over again except now they have very little excuse. There is no university fees to pay.

I guess they must really hate my company to leave me alone here with my suicidal thoughts.

I want to tell Alan to go away as well. The man has become very pushy. I don't want his input in the first draft. It will just be confusing. If he needs rewrites thereafter, that's what I'm here for.

Haha. I just realised that for someone whose blog is called Faith is Peace, I am not at all peaceful.

Peace out and go with God,
Zed.

P.S. I'm such a b**** when I'm like this. I have not a nice word to say. I'm selfish but I hurt myself more than anyone could. I contradict myself - I tell them (my parents) I want them to stay with me, but I don't want them anywhere near me. They infuriate me. When they're around, I feel more alone than when they aren't. I would kill to make this go away. I would do anything. Anything.